What a week! So thankful to still be pregnant. My appointment with high risk went as good as can be expected. I'm holding steady. Things haven't worsened which is a good sign. In fact, we were able to see a small improvement. I'll take anything I can get. The baby's heart is handling all the meds I am on. We will monitor weekly to make sure we discontinue the meds if his ductal flow starts to show signs of narrowing. He gained 1/2 lb in 6 days weighing in at 3lb 7oz. I'm assuming the steroids had something to do with that?
I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and continue to be optimistic. I've been down this road before and know how quickly things can change. Fear can easily take over my thoughts if I allow it. Now that I'm older and a bit more experienced I just run through all the worst case scenarios in my head. With Natalee I just decided I wasn't going to have a 26 weeker and tried to stay distracted. For some reason I wasn't overcome with worry. I was determined to keep her in. Maybe I've become more fearful in general as a mother of two. Everything scares me to death when it comes to my kids. I realize how precious and fragile life can be. I know to trust that God has a plan for this baby boy and worrying all the time won't benefit any of us but I still struggle.
The girls have realized something has changed with Mommy. They are curious why I'm sitting down so much. They both continue to ask me if I'm sick. I can reassure Rylee but Natalee isn't buying it. She broke down on the way to school this week and said" Mommy, I'm just so worried about you and baby brother." Literally broke my heart. She has such a kind and gentle spirit. She is very intuitive and I think she has seen the fear in my eyes. We are trying to keep things as normal as possible around here with the help of grandparents and our sweet friends. At this point in my pregnancy with Natalee I had already been on strict bed rest for 7 weeks. I remind myself that we are in a much better situation this go around. Although I have to take it easy I'm by no means on total bed rest.
I wanted to add a couple funny things the girls have started doing this week...
Rylee - has started talking about policemen but she calls them colicman. Cutest thing ever.
- she has started pulling out my makeup and standing in front of the mirror pretending to do
makeup tutorials. I guess I should regulate the youtube.
- constantly kisses my tummy and talks to "baby brudder"
Natalee - she has become very independent. She asked if her and Ry could talk a little before they
went to sleep tonight. I said sure and sat on the bed... she looks at me and says," Mom, can
please get out of our room?!!" I was shocked. And so it begins. Not ready for this.
- she always tells me after I tuck her in and say prayers that she is going to protect me and
baby brother. She says she won't let anything happen to us. So sweet! I have to remind her
that's not her job and she needs to worry about being a kid and playing. I tell her she can
watch out for her little sister and brother. She has such a big heart!
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Here We Go Again...
Obviously I am not a great blogger. I've come to realize that I use this as a keepsake for our family during milestones and not as much to keep others informed. Lets be honest... there can't be many people other than out of town family that care to know the small details of our everyday life!
After reading through my first blog entries back in 2009 I've decided this is more of a pregnancy journal than anything else. I am so so so thankful that I documented my previous pregnancies so well. It has been a great avenue for me to revisit those little details I can't remember after two kids.
A lot has changed since my last post in May... we are pregnant with #3. We are due around the end of March with our little prince. We couldn't be more excited... and scared at this point. When I was pregnant with Rylee Trey and I made a deal. He has always wanted a big family and I told him if my pregnancy with Rylee went better than Natalee I would consider a third down the road. Other than progesterone injections and a few hiccups Rylee's pregnancy was a breeze. Even her delivery was text book. Our "down the road" happened this summer when we decided to try for a third. I felt confident that our next pregnancy would replicate Rylee. We knew I would be monitored closely and I would take weekly progesterone injections to prevent preterm labor. We felt like we knew what we were signing up for. We found out we were expecting right around Natalee's 5th Birthday! We were elated.
Fast forward to now... I'm heading into my 30th week. All has been going well up until this point. I wasn't put on restricted activity, bed rest, nothing! It has been amazing... too amazing. I have had a bad feeling, premonition, whatever you want to call it lately. I have just felt off. We had a doctors appointment scheduled for Tuesday morning and I was up all night Monday with nightmares. My thoughts were so vivid that I dreamt my cervical length had shortened down to 17mm. We went into our ultrasound with Rylee in tow Tuesday morning. I have gotten to know our sonographer over the past few pregnancies and I could tell something was off. She was very quiet. I told her about my nightmare and she asked what length I dreamt. When I asked her what my cervical length was she hesitated to say 19mm. I was shocked. It wasn't only short but it was beginning to funnel. The funneling is the most alarming in my opinion. I tried to keep it together since I had Rylee with me but I knew things were about to change.
After sitting in the office for over an hour Dr. Johnson came in, looked at Rylee and asked who could come get her. She said with certainty I was getting admitted to labor and delivery. My first reaction... tears! I begged to go straight to Dr. Hennessy to be evaluated. That was my last hope in avoiding a lengthy hospital stay. After getting admitted so many times with Natalee I knew once they got you in there it was hard to be released. Something would always go wrong right when I was ready to go home. Long story short she agreed for me to go to HROC for further eval.
After two hours on the monitors Dr. Hennessy decided to go ahead with steroid injections to speed up the baby's lung development. He also gave me the dreaded 600mg motrin every 6hrs. He decided to let me go home but to come back if anything got worse. We were waiting on the results of the fetal fibronectin test which determines the likelihood of labor within the next 2 weeks. If this comes back negative it is a small sigh of relief. I went home and waited for the phone call from my ob. 24 hours later Dr. Johnson calls with an inconclusive test result. In all her years of medicine she said that has never happened. Go figure... that would be me. She strongly urged me to go to triage right away. I was still contracting and with such a small margin of error she didn't want me to take the risk. So off we went to triage for the night. My doctor came up and immediately gave me a terbutaline injections to stop the contractions. At this point I had received 6 injections in a 24 hour period. I was a mess. I never had to get terbutaline with Natalee but I had heard how horrible it was. Let's just say it wasn't fun and it made me feel crazy! After a long night I was sent home on "modified" bed rest. I feel like a ticking time bomb at the moment. I go back to the perinatologist on Monday to check progress and conduct another fFN exam. We will also be monitoring the baby's heart to make sure he is handling the motrin. If his heart valve starts to narrow we will have to discontinue the medicine and find an alternative route.
So that's where we are as of today. I have been a basket of emotions. This was totally out of left field. Everything was going perfect. I'm not sure if I'm more scared this time because I'm older and know more? I also have the responsibility of two little girls and I hate not being there for them the way they are used to me being. Obviously kids are resilient and keeping this baby in is #1 priority. I think moms in general put so much pressure on themselves to be everything for everyone and when a ball drops it feels devastating. I am hopeful this pregnancy plays out like Natalee's. I keep reminding myself to take deep breaths and take it one day at a time. I know so many parents have gone through difficult times and I have a hard time documenting our struggles knowing so many people who are going through or have gone through far worse. This is just our family story and something I want to recall years down the road. Lord knows if I don't write it down today I'll forget it tomorrow. It's amazing to see what God brought us through with Natalee. I love that it was documented as a reminder. I have looked back over each week with her and felt encouraged during this pregnancy. It's funny how things work sometimes.
After reading through my first blog entries back in 2009 I've decided this is more of a pregnancy journal than anything else. I am so so so thankful that I documented my previous pregnancies so well. It has been a great avenue for me to revisit those little details I can't remember after two kids.
A lot has changed since my last post in May... we are pregnant with #3. We are due around the end of March with our little prince. We couldn't be more excited... and scared at this point. When I was pregnant with Rylee Trey and I made a deal. He has always wanted a big family and I told him if my pregnancy with Rylee went better than Natalee I would consider a third down the road. Other than progesterone injections and a few hiccups Rylee's pregnancy was a breeze. Even her delivery was text book. Our "down the road" happened this summer when we decided to try for a third. I felt confident that our next pregnancy would replicate Rylee. We knew I would be monitored closely and I would take weekly progesterone injections to prevent preterm labor. We felt like we knew what we were signing up for. We found out we were expecting right around Natalee's 5th Birthday! We were elated.
Fast forward to now... I'm heading into my 30th week. All has been going well up until this point. I wasn't put on restricted activity, bed rest, nothing! It has been amazing... too amazing. I have had a bad feeling, premonition, whatever you want to call it lately. I have just felt off. We had a doctors appointment scheduled for Tuesday morning and I was up all night Monday with nightmares. My thoughts were so vivid that I dreamt my cervical length had shortened down to 17mm. We went into our ultrasound with Rylee in tow Tuesday morning. I have gotten to know our sonographer over the past few pregnancies and I could tell something was off. She was very quiet. I told her about my nightmare and she asked what length I dreamt. When I asked her what my cervical length was she hesitated to say 19mm. I was shocked. It wasn't only short but it was beginning to funnel. The funneling is the most alarming in my opinion. I tried to keep it together since I had Rylee with me but I knew things were about to change.
After sitting in the office for over an hour Dr. Johnson came in, looked at Rylee and asked who could come get her. She said with certainty I was getting admitted to labor and delivery. My first reaction... tears! I begged to go straight to Dr. Hennessy to be evaluated. That was my last hope in avoiding a lengthy hospital stay. After getting admitted so many times with Natalee I knew once they got you in there it was hard to be released. Something would always go wrong right when I was ready to go home. Long story short she agreed for me to go to HROC for further eval.
After two hours on the monitors Dr. Hennessy decided to go ahead with steroid injections to speed up the baby's lung development. He also gave me the dreaded 600mg motrin every 6hrs. He decided to let me go home but to come back if anything got worse. We were waiting on the results of the fetal fibronectin test which determines the likelihood of labor within the next 2 weeks. If this comes back negative it is a small sigh of relief. I went home and waited for the phone call from my ob. 24 hours later Dr. Johnson calls with an inconclusive test result. In all her years of medicine she said that has never happened. Go figure... that would be me. She strongly urged me to go to triage right away. I was still contracting and with such a small margin of error she didn't want me to take the risk. So off we went to triage for the night. My doctor came up and immediately gave me a terbutaline injections to stop the contractions. At this point I had received 6 injections in a 24 hour period. I was a mess. I never had to get terbutaline with Natalee but I had heard how horrible it was. Let's just say it wasn't fun and it made me feel crazy! After a long night I was sent home on "modified" bed rest. I feel like a ticking time bomb at the moment. I go back to the perinatologist on Monday to check progress and conduct another fFN exam. We will also be monitoring the baby's heart to make sure he is handling the motrin. If his heart valve starts to narrow we will have to discontinue the medicine and find an alternative route.
So that's where we are as of today. I have been a basket of emotions. This was totally out of left field. Everything was going perfect. I'm not sure if I'm more scared this time because I'm older and know more? I also have the responsibility of two little girls and I hate not being there for them the way they are used to me being. Obviously kids are resilient and keeping this baby in is #1 priority. I think moms in general put so much pressure on themselves to be everything for everyone and when a ball drops it feels devastating. I am hopeful this pregnancy plays out like Natalee's. I keep reminding myself to take deep breaths and take it one day at a time. I know so many parents have gone through difficult times and I have a hard time documenting our struggles knowing so many people who are going through or have gone through far worse. This is just our family story and something I want to recall years down the road. Lord knows if I don't write it down today I'll forget it tomorrow. It's amazing to see what God brought us through with Natalee. I love that it was documented as a reminder. I have looked back over each week with her and felt encouraged during this pregnancy. It's funny how things work sometimes.
Here's a look at our little man
I already see Natalee in him. I can't wait to meet the little guy... in at least 6 weeks!
A site I'm all to familiar with
When I got pregnant this is not what I had in mind :) Anything to keep this baby cooking. My bathroom is a pharmacy!
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